Monday, April 4, 2016

On Dating


Image from Refinery 29
It was 8 p.m. on a Wednesday night.  After right swiping and some witty text exchanges, I found myself at an intimate bar on Bowery awaiting Greg*, a 24 year old from UPenn working in finance, the classic Hinge character.  We could already applaud ourselves for successfully taking it offline, a surprising feat in and of itself.  And by all standard measures, it was a success -we had great conversation (he was entertained by the fact that a 2 Chainz concert topped my list of best live performances) and I didn’t have to pull the my-roommate-got-locked-out trick to ditch.  But even after four drinks and a few hours together, I knew he was not Mr. Right.  

There was no “spark.”  Rather than ghost, “a modern dating dilemma in which one person suddenly ceases contact with another, with no explanation of why,” I decided to be up front.  So when he subsequently texted to suggest dinner, I said, “Hey, I had a great time last night, but I got more of a friend vibe. I’d be down to see a show or something soon though!”  Cue future article about how to appropriately turn someone down, but the situation got me thinking: Can sexual chemistry develop over time?  Are dating apps superficial?  Is it okay to accept a date with no intention of hooking up after? 

Enter the Otis Unfiltered relationship series wherein I attempt to answer these questions with my only qualification being that I’m a 23 year old with a blog trying to date in New York City.
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