Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Emmy's Superlatives

Confession: I didn’t actually watch the Emmy’s, so for any official recap or debate about the merits of who won what, look elsewhere. That said, where else could you find stellar superlatives canvasing the best and worst of the red carpet? Any fashion blog in the world, that's where! But for titles like "Most Interesting Hookup Logistics," look no further.


Most Likely to Not Look Like She Played a Jailbird: Taylor Schilling
From the looks of it, you would never know Taylor Schilling plays an incarcerated sometimes lesbian with patchy hair (apparently weave barters are a thing in prison).

Most Likely to Have Escaped the Cotton Candy Machine: Lena Dunham
The third grader in me can’t help but want to lick Lena Dunham. Explanation: During my 8th birthday party (circus themed!) after five sticks of cotton candy, my mom told me enough was enough. Apparently shrieking, “But it’s my birthdaaaaay” fell on deaf ears.

Most Convincing that Orange is the New Black: Kerry Washington
Yaaas.

Most Resemblant of a Chic Disco Ball: Gwen Stefani
Talk about a #TransformationTuesday. From blue hair and a blue furry bra at the 1998 VMA’s to today, Gwen Stefani has figured it out. Versace, Versace, Versace.

Most True to Character: Robin Wright in Ralph LaurenYou would think Robin Wright would take this opportunity to convince her audience that she’s not the ice queen otherwise known as Claire in House of Cards and ditch her neutral boardroom wardrobe for something more...red carpet worthy?

Best at Giving Face: Kristen Schaal
Kristen Schaal, I have no idea who you are or what show you’re in, but I do know that you give face like none other.


Most Age Appropriate: Kiernan ShipkaSomeone should tell Kendall and Kylie Jenner, 18 and 16 years old respectively, that dresses with slits to the pubic bone are not the way to go. Instead, take a page from Kiernan Shipka’s book. But hey, if Kim is your inspiration, I guess there really is no hope? Note: Deep v’s tend to be limited to the B-cups and below.

Most Intriguing Hookup Logistics: Chris and Adrienne BoshJust look at them, and honestly tell me you’re not the slightest bit curious.


Otis Unfiltered Stamp of Approval: Allison Williams, Keke Palmer, Jessica Paré
Classic. Beauties. What can I say?

For Met Gala Superlatives, click here.

*All images via The Cut
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